We, the undersigned (one guy, one part-time minion, and a cat who did not consent), being of sound mind and very limited budget, do hereby declare our intention to take over the world.

1. On funding. Our war chest stands at twelve dollars. We are aware that this is not enough to take over the world. We are doing it anyway.
2. On staff. Our workforce consists of one (1) evil genius, one (1) minion who is usually at lunch, and the aforementioned cat. Headcount will increase as soon as payroll exists.
3. On technology. Our mainframe is a laptop. Our satellite is rented by the hour. Our death ray is on layaway. ██████████████████████
4. On strategy. We have planned. We have prepared. We have executed. We now fear, hope and pray. Our analysts assure us this is the plan working as intended.
5. On resistance. Resistance is futile. It is also largely unnecessary, as we are not yet very threatening. Please resist anyway; it is good for morale.
6. On conquest. The world will be ours. We will begin with the TV remote, the thermostat and the good chair, and expand from there. ███████████████
7. On victory. We may be broke. We may be understaffed. We may be running on one cup of coffee. But we are relentless, we are caffeinated (partially), and we are hell-bent on world domination.